So I finally made "The Onion"

Important news out of Elko, Nevada. The authors shaved a few years off my age, which I appreciate.

Ironically I had the pleasure of spending the 4th of July in 2003 in Elko camping with my friend Aconcagua Summiter. It was a lovely place, and the Basque Festival was an added bonus.

Now, on to the story...

Queer Eye Team Denounces Recent Wave Of Vigilante Homosexual Makeover Groups

NEW YORK-The Fab Five spoke out against the abduction of fashion hostage Jeremy Hastings and the tragic remodeling of his living room.