It was a Friday afternoon and I was trying to explain how to work with formulas in Excel to our office administrative assistant when it all came down. The street in front of our office had been closed and the huge speakers blasting hip hop could only signal one thing: A STREET PARTY EMERGENCY WAS NOW IN EFFECT.
The following videos attempt to capture the fun. The runway show was a subplot through the entire afternoon, with at least five or six installments filling the intervals between lip syncers, dancers, skit performers, and poetry readings.
Sure, the red carpet might be held down with rocks in the middle of the street, but the attitude was first class (some of the end-of-runway turns needed a little work though).
Rolling the highlight reel:
Purse Drop
Sunglass Swoon
Sock-boy lingers
Crazy lady accosts contestants
BONUS VIDEO: The World's Worst Rap Lip Sync Artist
22 November 2008
17 November 2008
Get out of town!
So I was complaining earlier about having trouble with getting my work visa processed. To no one’s surprise, it didn’t happen before my regular visa expired, and it came time to leave the country or face a daily fine and a nasty little black mark against my passport. A last-minute messy travel planning session ensued and involved brief consideration of options as diverse as flying to Ethiopia or taking a local flight to a southern Angolan town and taking a bush taxi to the Namibian border from there. In the end the only available option was flying to Johannesburg, South Africa. We booked the day before we flew, and spent 4 welcome days in the developed world.
Top ten highlights of the trip:
1. Apartheid Museum
Fairly recently opened, the museum traces the history of South Africa’s settlement and frames the dark chapter of apartheid effectively. Visitors are handed passes randomly – depending on which pass you receive you are forced to enter the museum through the door for whites only or blacks only. Groups are thus forced to experiece the first part of the museum separately, only meeting outside for the walk up to the second (and much more substantial) part of the museum.
The "pillars" of the South African Constitution:
Museum Entrance:
2. Wildlife in Pilanesburg National Park
About a two-hour drive from Johannesburg, this national park is full of wild animals. The lions remained elusive, but the elephants put on a nice show. Zebras, hippos, and giraffes were also in abundance. It was the rhinos that caught my attention mostly though – it was was the first time I’d seen them in the wild. They don’t do much, but they’re so improbable it’s hard to stop watching them. Especially the baby ones…
3. Jacaranda blooming season
These trees are stunning in bloom, and we visited in peak season. I was hoping to visit Pretoria, which apparently is covered in the bright purple blossoms in October, but had to settle for the street we were staying on.
4. Thai food
I just so happened to pick a lodge located in an area of great restaurants, and one of them was Thai. There is no Thai food in Angola. Thai food is my favorite cuisine of all time. I ate there twice (and would eaten there more often if I didn’t capitulate Burch’s pleas for a more diverse dining experience during our visit…wuss).
5. Roller coasters
Unexpectedly, there was an amusement park next to the Apartheid Museum. It did seem like an odd combination at first thought, but on second thought roller coasters are fun. We got to the park just in time to ride the “Anaconda” twice. The second time was in the middle of thunderstorm and they shut the park down afterwards. Friggin’ lightning…
6. Top of Africa
I love views – and this is the best one in Joburg. It also takes you downtown, which is a bit shady. Atop the tower is a large observation area offering unobstructed views in all directions. The remnants of the thunderstorms passing through the area made for a nice backdrop, and I was lucky enough to snap a photo of lightning. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do that again if I tried.
7. Hot water showers
It’s the little things sometimes. We sort of a have hot water at the apartment Luanda, but it only works by heating water as it passes the showerhead. You can only use it for 10 minutes at a time without shorting the fuse and even when it’s working it’s sort of random. But I digress…hot showers rock.
8. Working internet
Even though we had to pay separately, the internet actually worked in South Africa. The Angolan pasttime of hitting “page reload” five times before reading your email was not missed.
9. Favorable exchange rates
We happened to visit during one of the more active of global financial meltdown weeks, and the dollar kept strengthening to the rand by the minute. We arrived at 9-to-1 and left at close to 11-to-1. In other words, everything was cheap. As an American tourist abroad, this was a relatively new feeling…
10. Beat
Pronounced Bay-aht, this was the name of the friendly Afrikaaner that ran the lodge where we stayed. He was more than willing to discuss just about anything and reminded me what good customer service was all about. I never did work up the courage to ask him about his name…
BONUS PHOTO!
Top ten highlights of the trip:
1. Apartheid Museum
Fairly recently opened, the museum traces the history of South Africa’s settlement and frames the dark chapter of apartheid effectively. Visitors are handed passes randomly – depending on which pass you receive you are forced to enter the museum through the door for whites only or blacks only. Groups are thus forced to experiece the first part of the museum separately, only meeting outside for the walk up to the second (and much more substantial) part of the museum.
The "pillars" of the South African Constitution:
Museum Entrance:
2. Wildlife in Pilanesburg National Park
About a two-hour drive from Johannesburg, this national park is full of wild animals. The lions remained elusive, but the elephants put on a nice show. Zebras, hippos, and giraffes were also in abundance. It was the rhinos that caught my attention mostly though – it was was the first time I’d seen them in the wild. They don’t do much, but they’re so improbable it’s hard to stop watching them. Especially the baby ones…
3. Jacaranda blooming season
These trees are stunning in bloom, and we visited in peak season. I was hoping to visit Pretoria, which apparently is covered in the bright purple blossoms in October, but had to settle for the street we were staying on.
4. Thai food
I just so happened to pick a lodge located in an area of great restaurants, and one of them was Thai. There is no Thai food in Angola. Thai food is my favorite cuisine of all time. I ate there twice (and would eaten there more often if I didn’t capitulate Burch’s pleas for a more diverse dining experience during our visit…wuss).
5. Roller coasters
Unexpectedly, there was an amusement park next to the Apartheid Museum. It did seem like an odd combination at first thought, but on second thought roller coasters are fun. We got to the park just in time to ride the “Anaconda” twice. The second time was in the middle of thunderstorm and they shut the park down afterwards. Friggin’ lightning…
6. Top of Africa
I love views – and this is the best one in Joburg. It also takes you downtown, which is a bit shady. Atop the tower is a large observation area offering unobstructed views in all directions. The remnants of the thunderstorms passing through the area made for a nice backdrop, and I was lucky enough to snap a photo of lightning. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do that again if I tried.
7. Hot water showers
It’s the little things sometimes. We sort of a have hot water at the apartment Luanda, but it only works by heating water as it passes the showerhead. You can only use it for 10 minutes at a time without shorting the fuse and even when it’s working it’s sort of random. But I digress…hot showers rock.
8. Working internet
Even though we had to pay separately, the internet actually worked in South Africa. The Angolan pasttime of hitting “page reload” five times before reading your email was not missed.
9. Favorable exchange rates
We happened to visit during one of the more active of global financial meltdown weeks, and the dollar kept strengthening to the rand by the minute. We arrived at 9-to-1 and left at close to 11-to-1. In other words, everything was cheap. As an American tourist abroad, this was a relatively new feeling…
10. Beat
Pronounced Bay-aht, this was the name of the friendly Afrikaaner that ran the lodge where we stayed. He was more than willing to discuss just about anything and reminded me what good customer service was all about. I never did work up the courage to ask him about his name…
BONUS PHOTO!
09 November 2008
Benguela Dance-Off
A few weeks ago the high school next door to our office in Benguela had an end-of-year street party complete with lip syncing contests, plays, poetry readings, a fashion show, and a dance competition.
The videos in this series try to capture the spirit of the event; this first video shows how the spirit captured one of the spectators. I had no idea it was possible to move like that until I saw this guy get "inspired."
03 November 2008
Solving the washing puzzlement: Part III
So after tying a neon green rope between two air conditioner brackets on the balcony of the room adjacent to mine I hung my clothes out to dry. I left to go have some dinner at a little snack bar not too far of a walk from the house and when I got home I was so tired I didn’t notice anything strange.
Around 3a.m. I thought I heard something, and rose to look out my second floor window to catch a glimpse of what seemed like someone scurrying away from the house below. That was strange, but startling enough that I grabbed the flashlight (the power had gone out per usual) and headed out to check out the rest of the house.
That’s when I noticed the door to the room adjacent to mine open. This was the room that had the balcony where my clothes were drying, and upon closer inspection the sliding door that leads to the balcony was also open. My heart was racing by this point, and I went to check out the balcony and noticed that one of my shirts was missing. It was in a position that made it impossible for a random gust of wind to have taken it, and it was the first thing anyone approaching from inside the house would have been able to take. The funny thing was that it was my least favorite polo shirt and had a stain that I couldn’t get out. If someone came to my house and forced me to give away an article of clothing, I would have handed over that shirt without thinking twice. So at least there’s that.
I was, however, struggling to figure out how this happened. Did someone enter while I was sleeping and I didn’t notice? Had someone come in while I was out? Why would they have only taken one shirt? If they really were a burglar, why would they pass up all the electronics we have on the first floor? I know I locked the door when I left - could it have been someone with a key to the house? I pondered these questions the rest of the night and jumped at every noise. I asked my team to solve the riddle the next morning but they didn’t have any suggestions either.
Who knew the washing puzzlement would have such a literal ending? We’re looking into hiring a security guard…
Around 3a.m. I thought I heard something, and rose to look out my second floor window to catch a glimpse of what seemed like someone scurrying away from the house below. That was strange, but startling enough that I grabbed the flashlight (the power had gone out per usual) and headed out to check out the rest of the house.
That’s when I noticed the door to the room adjacent to mine open. This was the room that had the balcony where my clothes were drying, and upon closer inspection the sliding door that leads to the balcony was also open. My heart was racing by this point, and I went to check out the balcony and noticed that one of my shirts was missing. It was in a position that made it impossible for a random gust of wind to have taken it, and it was the first thing anyone approaching from inside the house would have been able to take. The funny thing was that it was my least favorite polo shirt and had a stain that I couldn’t get out. If someone came to my house and forced me to give away an article of clothing, I would have handed over that shirt without thinking twice. So at least there’s that.
I was, however, struggling to figure out how this happened. Did someone enter while I was sleeping and I didn’t notice? Had someone come in while I was out? Why would they have only taken one shirt? If they really were a burglar, why would they pass up all the electronics we have on the first floor? I know I locked the door when I left - could it have been someone with a key to the house? I pondered these questions the rest of the night and jumped at every noise. I asked my team to solve the riddle the next morning but they didn’t have any suggestions either.
Who knew the washing puzzlement would have such a literal ending? We’re looking into hiring a security guard…
01 November 2008
Solving the washing puzzlement: Part II
I solved my washing puzzlement the next day with the help of a colleague, although the process involved manually draining water from the machine into a large tub, over and over. I probably also shouldn't have the machine in the bathroom but it’s the only place in the entire house where an outlet and a water source are located anywhere near each other. I put the power strip in a plastic bag and put a towel over it to protect it from any errant dripping water, but the whole scene was a little shady if I’m honest.Safety concerns aside I have to say the partly manual, partly mechanized process of washing clothes was enlightening. It was amazing to see how much dirt was in the wash when I was emptying the water from the basin via a flimsy plastic drain tube into a plastic tub, the contents of which then got dumpted into the bathtub.
There was a separate spin dry compartment that sort of sucked excess water away, although I could only manage to put about 3 items in there or else the whole machine shook so violently and loudly that I was afraid I was going to anger the cockroaches en masse (definitely something I wanted to avoid).
It may have taken a few hours longer than I would have liked, but I managed to have some clean clothes after all. After going through all that I'm gonna try a little harder to keep 'em clean...
31 October 2008
Solving the washing puzzlement: Part I
Although living in Benguela has its perks over Luanda (no traffic, quiet neighborhood favorable to sleeping, and a picturesque beach in walking distance), some aspects of life aren’t so easy.Take washing clothes for instance. In Luanda the housekeeper washes and irons at least once a week. I tried to negotiate the same deal with the current housekeeper here in Benguela but to no avail. Her price was too steep and while my management was busy figuring out what to do I was down to my last pair of clean socks.
There was a new washing machine in my bathroom after all, and the marketing on the side of the box was irresitible. Not only did it have the “super fashionable” design, but it also came with “the satellite pulsators.” I don’t know what could be more exciting, and I don’t know how I contained my curiosity for as long as I did.
I had a colleague help me with the box, and within a matter of minutes it was clear I had no clue how this machine worked. I made the mistake of reading the instruction manual, which was tragically yet comically written in perfect Engrish. Reading the manual didn’t help me get my clothes any cleaner, but it did lift my spirits.
Here are just a few of the gems:
“Surper quiet design: it adopts the low nose drive system with balanced running”
“It has the nice shape, beautiful and attractive and it takes the fancy of the consumer”
“There are small pulsators add to the big pulsator, image the hand washing”
“It may effectively get rid of fine hair scraps in washing course”
And, my favorite:
Large capacity design that “may solve the whole family washing puzzlement”
I like the fact that the authors left room for the possibility that the family washing puzzlement may just not be solve-able. But if it can be done, rest assured this is the machine to take you and your family to that happy place!
26 October 2008
Sour Patch Post Office
In something of a test of the capabilities of the American and Angolan postal authorities, a friend of mine sent me a care package from Seattle at the beginning of September. My friend and I were joking that he hoped the package would arrive in time for Christmas, but by some miracle of international commerce during the first week of October I got a notice in the office that a package had arrived. However, instead of actually delivering the package to the office, I had to take a type of claim slip to the main post office to pick it up.
I was expecting a quick exchange, but I should have known better. I sensed trouble as soon as I saw that one of two possible windows had a sign stating “Alfândega” above it, which means “Customs” in Portuguese. Hoping to avoid ending up at this window I started at the adjacent one, and kindly handed my claim slip to a confused-looking postal employee. I think her job was to take the slip and go find my package and bring it to the customs folks. Somehow this act invovled first shuffling through a book of papers about 100 pages thick presumably full of notices for other arrived packages. Of course my matching claim slip was near the bottom and only after rifling through the huge stack twice did she manage to find it. Then she went to look for my package with tortoise-like speed. This part of the process invovled the biggest leap of faith – not only did I not yet have my package, I also did not have my claim slip. Fingers crossed and breath held, I waited.
After twenty minutes my package arrived at – of course – the customs window. I was nervous; during the time it took for my package to arrive I witnessed the process I was about to be subjected to. Wielding a large, opens-any-kind-of-box knife, the customs lady (picture a sassy Marla Gibbs* and you’re pretty close) tore into packages with a little too much gusto for comfort. When it got to my turn her disgruntled customs employee expression changed with the crack of a grin. She rifled through my beef jerky and skittles without much interest, but the big bright bag of Sour Patch Kids caught her eye. She asked what it was, and wielded her knife once more to slash open the bag of what is perhaps the most perfect candy ever known to man**. She must have been relishing the look of terror on my face as her greedy little fingers reached into the bag and plucked an orange one (my favorite flavor!!) and poped it into her mouth right in front of me. The nerve...
Exhibit 1: Customs lady adulterated bag:
It turns out I got off easy. She only ate one and while completing yet some other paper-intensive process muttered the Portuguese word for “yummy” under her breath. I wasn’t quite done yet unfortunately. I had to go back to the window where I started originally and pay 172 Kwanzas (about $2) as a “customs fee” before I could pick up my package. Not only do they steal your goods they make you pay for the experience! Of course they didn’t have change for me and tried to make me pay too much, but I wasn’t going to fall for that and told the original lady I dealt with that I would wait. The problem wasn’t that she didn’t have change, it was that she somehow lost her key to the change drawer and couldn’t open it. I asked the driver (by now he had come to check on my progress anyway) to make change and before long (but after forty minutes of this madness) I was on my way, finally, with my cherished box o’ processed sugar. I’ll never see a bag of Sour Patch Kids the same way...
*remember the maid from The Jeffersons?
**based on a scientific candy poll conducted by yours truly
I was expecting a quick exchange, but I should have known better. I sensed trouble as soon as I saw that one of two possible windows had a sign stating “Alfândega” above it, which means “Customs” in Portuguese. Hoping to avoid ending up at this window I started at the adjacent one, and kindly handed my claim slip to a confused-looking postal employee. I think her job was to take the slip and go find my package and bring it to the customs folks. Somehow this act invovled first shuffling through a book of papers about 100 pages thick presumably full of notices for other arrived packages. Of course my matching claim slip was near the bottom and only after rifling through the huge stack twice did she manage to find it. Then she went to look for my package with tortoise-like speed. This part of the process invovled the biggest leap of faith – not only did I not yet have my package, I also did not have my claim slip. Fingers crossed and breath held, I waited.
After twenty minutes my package arrived at – of course – the customs window. I was nervous; during the time it took for my package to arrive I witnessed the process I was about to be subjected to. Wielding a large, opens-any-kind-of-box knife, the customs lady (picture a sassy Marla Gibbs* and you’re pretty close) tore into packages with a little too much gusto for comfort. When it got to my turn her disgruntled customs employee expression changed with the crack of a grin. She rifled through my beef jerky and skittles without much interest, but the big bright bag of Sour Patch Kids caught her eye. She asked what it was, and wielded her knife once more to slash open the bag of what is perhaps the most perfect candy ever known to man**. She must have been relishing the look of terror on my face as her greedy little fingers reached into the bag and plucked an orange one (my favorite flavor!!) and poped it into her mouth right in front of me. The nerve...Exhibit 1: Customs lady adulterated bag:
It turns out I got off easy. She only ate one and while completing yet some other paper-intensive process muttered the Portuguese word for “yummy” under her breath. I wasn’t quite done yet unfortunately. I had to go back to the window where I started originally and pay 172 Kwanzas (about $2) as a “customs fee” before I could pick up my package. Not only do they steal your goods they make you pay for the experience! Of course they didn’t have change for me and tried to make me pay too much, but I wasn’t going to fall for that and told the original lady I dealt with that I would wait. The problem wasn’t that she didn’t have change, it was that she somehow lost her key to the change drawer and couldn’t open it. I asked the driver (by now he had come to check on my progress anyway) to make change and before long (but after forty minutes of this madness) I was on my way, finally, with my cherished box o’ processed sugar. I’ll never see a bag of Sour Patch Kids the same way...
*remember the maid from The Jeffersons?
**based on a scientific candy poll conducted by yours truly
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